I married my best friend. We were married for 13 years. The discussion to separate was the darkest months of our lives. We were both scared. Our world shifted. We couldn’t stop crying. We needed each other to get through this, but how?
When we separated, I chose not to abandon her. She agreed. Just as couples need time to fall in love, we needed time to fall out of love. In increments of 6 months, we lived in separate rooms, then to separate homes, then we split the finances. When we started to date others, we helped each other with our dating profiles. When we found each other on dating apps, we would laugh. The first overnight dates were strange and nerve-racking. We let the other know where we were for safety. Sometimes we had drinks together after our dates because there was so much we were learning about ourselves. Those conversations were rich, like when we were dating for the first time. Meeting each others dating partner is still surreal. Not unpleasant. Just new. The new is gradually welcomed because it brings out the new in me. As we both evolve, our times together feel more familiar, more nostalgic, and a lot like Christmas. Our reunions are more of a holiday than actual holidays. We still check in with the other like family and support each other during the highs and lows. It took us 3 years before we were officially divorced. By then, we were proud. When our dearest and truest pug in the entire universe passed away that same year, a love that lasted our marriage, that’s when we felt a certain adiue to our marriage chapter. We grieved Sir Winston Churchill who is still alive when we get together. The magic of our marriage years are not gone or dead either. They are alive whenever we hang, talk, or text, and they continue in this post-marriage Judd Apatow sitcom-like form. We didn’t lose our relationship. We didn’t lose each other. It simply changed. So we changed with it. By staying committed to the person than the relationship, I found a more genuine spacious relationship grounded in love than a rigid narrow relationship defined by expectations. (Note: Divorce is not required to learn this.)
I am proud of our separation just as I was proud of our union. It took work, intention, time, and love. We went through marriage and divorce TOGETHER and we are still OURSELVES on the other side. Hallelujah! 🙏🙌🏽 💃🏻🕺🏻❤️✨
This isn’t an old photo. This was last night. ☺️
A useful message that is sure to help you live a more fulling life: Love as if you’re going to be in love forever.
Every marriage does not have a happy ending. All love stories are not magical. All couples don’t end up being together til eternity and all lovers don’t end up being soulmates. But love is still the essence of all beautiful relationships. No matter what the future holds for you, love as soulfully as you can, as beautifully as you can, and for as long as you can. Pour your heart out and share everything with your partner each day. Spend quality time with each other and travel to the depths of each others’ souls. Life changes in a blink and you may not be together forever but the breathless moments spent together will remain in your heart forever.
“Jesuit Priests aren’t especially known for their heavy drug u/se, but it we’re to believe the account of Father Domenico Giardina, he was tripping pretty hard. Looking out over the sea from Messina, Sicily, Giardina saw “a city all floating in the air, and so measureless and so splendid, so adorned with magnificent buildings, all of which was found on a base of a luminous crystal.” The metropolis suddenly transformed into a garden, and next a forest. And then in a flash it all descended into chaos. Huge armies sprang forth, as did the towns they had laid waste to, before the whole mess disappeared.
Father Giardina, you see, was high on life. (Though scholars believe he actually borrowed his “sighting” from another observer.)1 The “great and marvelous theater” he claimed to have witnessed was the mysterious fata morgana, an incredibly complex mirage that has historically both fascinated and scared the hell out of sailors and landlubbers alike. Whether it be the work of necromancers or fairies or a god, few phenomena have captivated humankind quite so thoroughly as fata morgana.
In the case of a fata morgana mirage, light reflecting from a distant object such as a ship is bent downward as it passes through the colder, denser air near the surface of the ocean (or sometimes cold land, particularly ice). But your brain places the object where it would be if the light came to you in a straight path—higher than it actually is. This bending effect can even work with the curvature of the Earth if conditions are just right, which is why some fata morgana images can actually be refracted cities and ships from beyond the horizon.
The legends of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere include tales of the sorceress Morgan le Fay, a powerful fairy known to live in the sea who cast spells to lure sailors to their deaths. La Fata Morgana, “the fairy Morgan,” is her Italian name.”
-Wired, The Anchorage News
Doing laundry with my big girl Skyler while mommy goes to the gym…Our conversation went a little like this. “Hey Sky, make sure you do a good job folding.” Her answer: “Come on, Daddy – I’ve been folding since I was 5. Don’t you know me?” She just turned 6 in July. Lol.
I am a passionate, honest, and committed woman.
My vision for the world is one where everyone gets to put their passion into action, do what they love, and have the life they dreamed wasn’t possible. Race, religion or political views will no longer be relevant when everyone taps into their authentic self.
My definition of leadership is living that vision and taking everyone along with me.
My life philosophy summed up…People are always questioning me about my “credit score,” a “career,” “kids” and all the other false markers of success.😂 Yeah – I said it. 🤷🏽♀️
Success is whatever the fuck you want it to be! It is not the agreed upon socially accepted BS you were born into. Think about it this way. If you don’t like school for example… why are you going? Do what you want!! Do what makes you happy!
I’m doing what I love, I’m happy and I trust the process. ❤️
Affirmation: I am a Divine, Cherubic, Adorable Angel!
Goal: To embrace the the Christmas holiday spirit in NYC
- To research for 30 minutes Christmas Sites in NYC by December 6
- To go on an excursion to 2 or more Holiday Markets on two separate occasions
- Visit one Holiday Market by December 10
- Visit second Holiday Market by December 20
- To go on one or more Christmas sites of choice
- To visit one Christmas attraction by December 18
I went to view three open houses today for possible purchase around the Upper East Side! So much momentum…I love looking at charming apartments, whether it’s for rent or now to buy…
We spoke to the realtors and got a feel of the NYC market, which seems to be going down…as in, more of a buyer’s market, which is great…
Visualizing and living in a dream home is similar to floating cloud nine…underneath the puffy white covers…
What’s on my mind at a time of happiness? Just a bit before this year, I naively believed that a “9 to 5” job would always bring food onto the table, working hard is better than going back to school, spoiling the girl is the way to make her happy, living in a place that I called “our home”, and trusting in a woman that would not leave me. Then these lovely thoughts threw me into a lost pit. Somewhere I bumped into many walls to climb out of. Next thing you know, I stopped reaching out, and started to believe in only one thought – anyone could walk away instead, and let them go. Because that only person who will let you out of the pit is yourself. Life will lead you to the good people, and to be thankful at times like these. Moving away was a turning point. So, – Lindenhurst, I love you.
Craving one of those intimate heart to heart talks…the kind where I’m laying my head on his chest and he’s playing in my hair. And the conversation is engaging, expansive, passionate, enlightening, and pleasurable. One of those moments when I fight against sleepy eyelids, in hopes of extending the moment for as long as I can. Even the silence in every pause is savory and meaningful.